Miley: Classy As Always

August 11, 2009

Miley Cyrus: Proving once again, you can take the girl out of the trailer park, but you can’t take the stripper out of– wait a minute…

Last night at the Teen Choice Awards, Miley performed her song “Party In The USA.”  First, she emerges from what appears to be a big mobile home.  Go figure.  Then, she gave all her teen (and tween) fans a real treat when she hopped up on a ice cream cart and undulated around a tall, silver pole…


Um.  What?  Forget the fact that Miley sings like a wanna-be karaoke contest winner.  Forget the slightly questionable outfit she wore to the TEEN Choice Awards.  This is not okay.

Now, there are some idiots out there who think this was totally cool.  After all, the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders dance around in little cheerleading outfits all the time, right?  Wrong.  Someone whose TARGET audience is made up of little girls should probably avoid slutting it up and pole-dancing on national TV.  Period.  I know there was that exotic dancing exercise craze a little while back…  But c’mon, how many 11-year old girls were enrolled in stripper dance class?

More on this ridiculousness here and here.  Video below (fast forward to 1:00, unless you really want to hear her sing).


UPDATE: Ed Norwick, the general manager of New York stripclub SCORES, has issued the following statement:

“While Miley did show off some skills, we at SCORES cannot encourage this kind of behavior for women under the legal age. If she’d like to come try out in a couple of years, our door’s open!”

HA! Looks like Miley’s got a future in entertainment after all…


All The Asian Ladies…?

March 27, 2009

A few days ago, IvyGate posted a video by a Yale a cappella group called Mixed Company.  The gist of it is this: 4 Asian college students making a parody video based on Beyonce’s song, “Single Ladies.”  Except they replaced “Single” with “Asian.” … and replaced pop lyrics with, erm… sort of offensive lyrics.  See for yourself (brace yourself for the particularly ridiculous subtitled last verse):

I’m all for ironic, making-fun-of-stereotypes-and-those-who-use/believe-them humor… But this just isn’t that funny. I think the problem is with the execution. I think what they were trying to do was good… But they were just trying too damn hard without good enough results.

In short, it’s not quite over-the-top enough to place it in the “we’re clearly making fun of Asian stereotypes, not reinforcing them” category. People aren’t laughing at the stereotypes because they’re too busy either laughing at the performance or being uncomfortable with the subject matter.  Judging by the comments on IvyGate, I think people are probably pissed because hits close to home without being relatable enough to be funny.



Miley Cyrus “Apologizes”

February 6, 2009


Miley, right, apologizes

Miley, right, apologizes

For those of you who aren’t aware, Billy Ray’s little ray of sunshine decided it’d be funny to pull the chinky eye maneuver with some friends.  The picture spread across the interwebs like wildfire, even prompting the OCA to release an official statement. Then, like clockwork, we got the obligatory celebrity apology.  Y’know, sometimes (rarely) these things are pretty genuine and heartfelt.  They generally don’t serve to excuse the behavior, but at least you get the idea that the offender feels bad.


Then there are “apologies” like this one that Miley “Bigot” Cyrus made on her fansite:

“I’ve also been told there are some people upset about some pictures taken of me with friends making goofy faces! Well, I’m sorry if those people looked at those pics and took them wrong and out of context! In NO way was I making fun of any ethnicity! I was simply making a goofy face. When did that become newsworthy? It seems someone is trying to make something out of nothing to me. If that would of [sic] been anyone else, it would of been overlooked! I definitely feel like the press is trying to make me out as the new ‘BAD GIRL’!”


You have GOT to be kidding me.  This is clearly not an apology, but was worded to kind of / sort of / almost sound like one.  This is the kind of crap little children do when they get caught fucking around.  They get defensive and they make excuses.  She “apologizes” for the people who looked at the pictures and “took them wrong.”  (wait, so did they take the picture wrong?  How many people actually took the picture?  I’m confused, Miley!)  Normally you’d apologize for your actions, not other people’s actions.  This statement essentially amounts to a big FUCK YOU to everyone that got pissed about her actions.


The sad thing (well, one of the sad things) is that she doesn’t even realize (or admit) that she was being offensive: “I was simply making a goofy face.”  I see, Miley, you were simply making a goofy face.  Brilliant defense.  Look, even if this was some sort of inside joke THAT DOESN’T MAKE IT OKAY.  Perhaps she meant to say “I was simply making a gooky face”?  Hmm…

And yes, of course… Someone is trying to make something out of nothing.  Right.  It’s nothing to offend shit tons of Asian (and non-Asian) people everywhere.  Good work. 

Stop giving southern folks a bad name, Miley.


Oh, also, Adriel Luis of iLL-Literacy put his two-cents in via youtube.  Pretty hilarious and well worth the view.



UPDATE: Saw Miley perform on the Grammys last night… She looked/sounded like a 12-year old trying to win a karaoke contest at a local dive bar.  Seriously, Miley… Grimacing and waving your hand around does not make you sound any better.  Nor does your awful intonation and timbre.  Poor Taylor Swift did her best to carry the duet, but man, there is just no excuse for that level of shitty singing… Certainly not at the Grammys.

Miley Cyrus: Oh, Chinky Eye Funny!

February 4, 2009

If you haven’t heard by now, Miley Cyrus sucks.  If you already knew that, well, now she sucks even more.  A photo surfaced a few days ago showing this punkass girl doing the ol’ chinky-eye pose with a bunch of her other “hey, the chinky chinaman pose is fun!” friends.

Cyrus, sitting on boyfriend's lap

Cyrus, sitting on boyfriend's lap

Oh, sure, there’s an Asian dude in the picture.  But the presence of an Asian person does not give you a free pass to mock several BILLION people.  As if it wasn’t bad enough that we had to endure several Olympic teams posing like this, now this “fad” has spread to the retards of Hollywood. 

And yes, the rest of Miley’s punkass friends are assholes for doing this too.  But this particular retard, in case anyone forgot, has LEGIONS of little tweens following her every move and hanging on her every word.  How does it not bother more people that these super impressionable little children are worshiping a racist bitch?

Why is it that people think this sort of behavior is okay?  Is it because they see Asians doing it and conclude that, “Well, clearly it’s okay since Asians make fun of Asians!”  If that is indeed the case, then those morons are sadly mistaken.  It’s one thing to make fun of yourself.  It’s another thing to go Family Guy and make fun of the people who make fun of you.  It’s a WHOLE other thing to go ahead and make fun of an entire race of people based on their physical appearance.  What sort of backlash do you think Miley “Hanna Montana Bigot Racist” Cyrus would get if she showed up in a photograph wearing blackface?  Hmm…

And if this all wasn’t enough, the comments that you see after these stories are just as infurating.  Check TMZ and PinkIsTheNewBlog.  The ignorance practically oozes off the screen…

The Organization of Chinese Americans has released this statement.


Oh Hayden… You’ve broken my heart…

July 16, 2008

Okay. I will readily admit that I am a fan of the show Heroes. Not just because I know Masi Oka (who is a pretty great guy), but also because Hayden Panettiere is on the show.

However, Ms. Panacotta has just broken my heart. How? She put out a music video. And it blows. Some of you may recall Scarlett Johamanason’s awful Tom Waits cover song/video. Well, here we have another example of some girl who is a pretty good actor making a HUGE mistake by putting out a terrible, terrible song. Below is a leaked video for “Wake Up Call.” Think “Red Red Wine” meets Hillary Duff meets a whole lot of suck:

NOT ONLY does the song suck, but the content of the lyrics is just atrocious:

I think I’m gonna have to cheat, to finally get your eyes on me? Gonna have to make you jealous…

WTF? Really?? This is the kind of horseshit that girls are supposed to do when their man isn’t paying attention to them? Not ONLY should Hayden stick to acting, but for pete’s sake, at least put out a song that doesn’t encourage girls to play retarded games.

Oh, and also don’t put out a song that is awful. Yeah.

Ching Chong Song

February 2, 2008

Okay. This is just ridiculous.

So there’s some lame ass band out there running around calling themselves “Ching Chong Song.” Comprised of Daniel Gower and Julia LaMendola, they are one of those “oo look at us, we’re so different” bands. Gower calls what they do “subversive anti-folk.” Gimme a break. It’d be one thing if they were actually talented. But unfortunately for anyone who has those little things called “ears”, they kind of blow.

These retards (who just happen to be caucasian, btw) were supposed to play a show at Bryn Mawr about a year ago. However, a group of Asian American students protested the show so ferociously that it was cancelled. In response, the band was quoted in Time Out New York as saying:

“I really wish they had come inside and listened to our music,” Gower, 28, says. “They would have understood where we were coming from. We’re full of love! We’re totally not offensive.”

Ah yes. Because you get to decide if what you name your band is offensive to other people or not. Gotcha. Brilliant. So if I named my band, oh I dunno, “White Crackers Should Die,” all is good so long as I claim that we’re not offensive, right? Right. Idiot.

Gower’s female bandmate also chimed in and said:

“I wrote an open letter to Bryn Mawr,” LaMendola says. “I told them, ‘I would never call you a ching chong. I would call you retarded twats!’ ”

Oh I see. So because this group of Asian American students decided that your band name was wholly inappropriate and offensive, they are therefore retarded. Got it. Never mind the fact that the phrase “ching chong” is about as inoffensive as “colored person.” Of COURSE you and your wannabe musician bandmate should be able to strut about being “subversive” anywhere and anytime you please! Silly me.

Then again, if these two racists have a change of heart, I have a suggestion for an alternate bandname:

“Won’t Be Around Long”

Have you seen our career?